Mental Health Awareness

A good friend of mine posted a video on her Instagram yesterday celebrating women for International Women’s Day 2019. She positioned my face in the centre of her opening shot and when I saw it, my heart strings pulled for the first time in very long while. For the first time in a very long while I felt proud to be alive, healthy and moving in the direction I want to go. My new job and career path has influenced this sentiment, so when I came across an old post (featured further below), I could finally see the difference just 3 months has made.

Marketers run campaigns for many incentive reasons. Whether to motivate and encourage or to stimulate a greater output and investment, what matters today is that campaigns produce an intrinsic value that over time will impact the course of history for everyone. I am happy to be a member of the marketing discipline, so I can be a direct working part of the action. A perfect example of this is the campaign theme for INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY 2019. It surrounds women and their strength with the slogan, #BalanceforBetter — a balanced world is a better world.

This makes so much sense to me. My husband and I always say, we need to be able to take care of ourselves first before helping each other. It is the first step towards achieving self-betterment and living a life that is wholly your own. Still, women deserve a moment of focus because the roles we have earned as mothers alone can be excruciatingly difficult. We will always witness a divide in genders, but by finding balance, we can explore our abilities and mitigate our weaknesses; we can apply ourselves in more powerful and life changing ways.

So how can YOU help forge a more gender-balanced world?

Celebrate women’s achievement.

Raise awareness against bias.

Take action for equality.

Run campaigns that matter and incite change.

As my current hero Seth Godin put it: WE’RE MARKETERS. WE MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN!

Here is the old post:

When is enough enough? I am coming down from a relapse. My entire world was rosy. Now I am struggling with a bout of depression that feels like my world went from beautiful to grey. Currently, my world completely lacks any sensory resonance. I’m at that point where only a chocolate covered donut prettied up in sprinkles or the act of cutting apples on a mandolin makes me feel something, anything.

I know now that I could never be a stay at home mom. I would feel helpless and lost, most of the time. Also, not working is NOT good for me. In fact, it’s been horrifying (thank God for my new job that starts on the 15th). I just wish I could remember the elation I felt when I was offered the position. That feeling is gone, has left somewhere in retreat where I don’t have the energy to take it back.

Is it even beneficial to post stories onto my new blog? It feels like such a giant culmination of effort, even if I’m depressed I can ride a small wave of happiness, then once the story is posted it’s over. I have to start all over again. Should I just run? Totally have been avoiding the gym. What will make me feel better? As time keeps ticking, I’m just waiting for it to end.

My husband and I just watched A Star Is Born, we came out of the theatre and I swear I heard him sniffle, he asked me if I liked it and I said it felt depressing. So, was it actually depressing or is it just me feeling that way? Only time will tell, should we just countdown the days? 10 more days and then it won’t feel so bad. I counted down the days till Halloween for Bishop, I’m pretty sure she enjoyed that.

NEVER feel alone. Reach out to someone, anyone. Dang, call me 604-345-5042, I’ll help you!

xo – fe.

Grid 2

These ‘grids’ are saving my life.

Amidst a social media strike, I am finally updating the Instagrams, but feel clogged and pained due to an apparent viral sinus infection affecting my entire left side.

It made me cry when I finally picked up my arse to wash the dishes. I angrily threw Tupperware into the drawer, more fluffed that Bishop’s plastic quadrant plate was obstructing  my *stance.

*I only cry in some sort of revelatory station, like that train ride Daisy got on, I die a little every time when I realize I never (in stance) make errors in judgment.

So, enjoy this grid. They shall not be named for sake of simplicity. Bye!

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I’ve Got Some Work To Do, So Please Stay Awake!

Day by day, she fought to stay awake. At night, facing the white wall, she would see her breath come back instantaneously, stirring her into place. The gaze could not help but stare at the odd black shadow that looked like a miniature black, spider web plague.

But seriously, in uni guys, I was feverishly napping on an ex-boyfriend’s mattress and my breath came to me instantaneously, stirring my mind up like a messy face. There was no odd black shadow, but the conceptual piece I had just completed about a red cross, red intersecting paint brushes — which over a predetermined schedule of time morphed (by me painting over it) into a black matte surface of nothingness — was replaced with a glowing symbol of something or other.

Could have been yellow.

I can barely remember.

I gasped for air, clutching my heart as I stared into Kevin’s barren closet only to see me as a ‘doctor’, healing the world from every known pain of mankind. In that moment, my heart sung and I cried. I felt adorned, but yet I was confused as to how this could have happened. How this could be a reality that I, simple Chona Fe, changed the world. How could I be the charging force that set everything in place.

The only other time this happened again, I was napping, this time at my aunt’s house around the bend from our house, in one of the empty rooms. (Note: Filipino homes always have empty rooms) All of the post 80s furniture, including a mainly stark but super reflective black master’s bedroom set had no meaning or intent in that place. That place where I slumbered and was suddenly awoken by, myself. I think I was 13, sitting up abruptly on the left side of the bed staring at myself. Yelling, screaming at the top of my lungs.

I was looking at a reflection that wasn’t ours.

My brother and my cousins, Ryan and Vanessa,  ran from the playground in the centre of the crescent. They heard my scream, they were horrified to think something terrible had happened. But nothing did. I was alive. I was not attacked or eaten in the middle of my sleep. Vanessa grabbed me and I blinked slowly thrice. “What. The. Fuck. I…don’t know what just happened, but I think I…died and I…saw a different person in my…reflection.” I couldn’t even continue. It was that bad.

TBC

Make Something Everyday – Seth Godin

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I shall embark on this challenge (which I cut in half BTW!) to pull myself out of this sort of induced slumber. I have lost all my vigor and it must be reinstated, so here goes two months-ish of creative and technical jargon; perhaps some continuation of Daisy’s adventures in, or should I say, at Elevententeen; some free and easy photo posts (you know, for days when I’m feeling too lazy to prose); examples of graphic art, logo designs and anything else I’ve developed over the past 3 months. I’ve been developing at the rate of a rabbit and gosh doesn’t that just leave some kind of numb feeling!

I’ve been also introduced to a multitude of software and applications to which it seems even more bunnies are procreating these interesting strategies and concepts (of principle and ideation). It’s effective, this is the glory of creation these days! Making things to build things, systems to make duties simpler (they do that though). I will also be throwing in my works of progress (templates, sales documents and the sort), which I may add, are becoming more and more succinct every day. So keep working, they’re supposed to evolve and eventually become final!

I am still testing things out aaand I’m not so sure insight selling is working (in theory), but maybe I will give it another month to see. Do you guys have any other tips or techniques? And, I’m sorry if I come across as negative, I think it’s my army suit and tank. And jeez, is that brigade still standing at attention, like they have been for maybe half a year, waiting for something to begin? Me too, me too my friends. I am starting to think this is all a sham! Sham I tell you! Sham SHAM SHAM! Well, let’s start one thing at least, here goes something – *MAKE SOMETHING EVERYDAY! *An ode to Seth Godin, who I barely know, but he has been helping me cope.

The outcome of this assignment will be –

Improved voice in messaging

Happier disposition

Greater appreciation of my worth

PS – My intention with this blog was to work on said skills above, but it is now also to highly impress the right in the right should the right come by. But what I mean to say is, Universe, you sure throw a lot of coincidences and happy lookin’ faces my way. Is there a proprietary patent pending that I keep thinking I’ve developed, developing?

PPS – Post to come…video feature on ME and CREATIVITY. What is the process, what is it like, how can it be applied, how can it make me successful.

Ta-ta for now!

fe.